So you are transitioning….

Went to the doc this morning. The nurse looks at me and says “So I see you are transitioning male to female…”

I replied, “Yes but in the other direction. Please don’t make me reverse gears!” She was soooo embarrassed. I laughed soooo hard. I told her thanks for the compliment and assured her that she actually made my day in a very twisted sort of way.

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Eternal Shut-Eye

Originally posted on The Doctor's Couch:

As I did my daily rounds yesterday, I walked into death.

I approached the room with calm and ease. Without a breeze of a thought of my sudden surprise.

She laid alone, in a white hospital room.

The room was cold.

Not cold from the AC. Never cold in a mid July day. But cold from the lack of souls in the room.

Not one visitor.

Not one life left.


I was thinking about my day at work yesterday. About my patients. About how every one has a different story. A conception. A birth. Birthdays, graduations, marriages. Yet we fail to think that one of the most significant events in life is death. Death, stays with you forever. Its carved on your tombstone. It resembles when your spirit leaves this body, that we wear and tear through the years.

At death you should be surrounded with memories, moments, and…

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How to explain your answer to the gender question

I was filling out a survey intended to help a large team identify other folks who share the same interests and form smaller discussion groups. You didn’t have to answer all the questions but the motivating factor was increasing your chances of finding an interesting subgroup to work with.

The question:

Are you currently the same gender you were born as?

My answer:

This question confuses gender and assignment of sex based on the appearance of genitalia at birth. If you think that is a no brainer you aren’t using your brain. Get educated. If you aren’t open to getting to know someone better because of their answer to this question here’s some free advice – don’t contact them and tell them you admire them for being authentic but don’t. It’s a self serving attempt to make yourself feel better at their expense.

Every Piece Of Chalk


Learning to feel whole is one of the hardest parts of this journey for me. I am resigned to the reality that the fifth surgery in November is my last shot at getting to the closest approximation of what my body should have been. If it fails I know I have given this my all. I have walked a difficult path and did my best to learn what I could and hopefully enlighten a few others along the way.

Originally posted on Today I Am A Man:

Feeling numb to experience is caused by the false perception that you are caught in the wrong experience, as in if a predicament. This perception is caused in turn by the false belief that you need to pursue experience. You do not need to pursue experience. You are experience.

J. Jennifer Matthews, Radically Condensed Instructions for Being Just as You Are

Old hurts beckoned me and I went to them, searching the subterranean labyrinths of my heart. The memories come broken, twisting toward wholeness. I unlock their secret meanings and let them fly away. I have the sensation I am getting to the bottom of something. Age 12, staring hard at my face in the mirror, thinking, “When will I look like myself?” Unable to picture how that self might look. I think of myself as a depressed, insecure teenager, an overwhelmed 9-year-old. I think of myself now, a man…

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The Hidden Years


I am 52 and started my transition at 49. I am in the US. I’ve lost relationships, a job, and spent lots of money for surgeries that should have been covered by insurance. By sheer accident of where I was born I will never be able to get a birth certificate that shows I am male (the “f” is merely crossed through and “m” entered above it). I’ve been on testosterone for two years and it has generally worked its magic. I haven’t been mis-gendered in over a year.

Is the dysphoria gone? No. But I’m not feeling it as intensely. Has this later in life transition been worth it? I can’t imagine having continued to live as a women until the end of my natural life. I would have had no other choice but to end it prematurely.

Do I feel guilt or regret? Yes. I regret that grandparents I loved so dearly never got to know the real me. I regret I’ll never know what it will be like to live as a young man. I feel guilt about past relationships that failed in part because I couldn’t let the other person in to connect with me completely. I feel guilt because to be me I had to end her – she worked so hard and so long to give me a final shot at living as he.

Best to you on your journey. Keep writing. It makes a difference.

Originally posted on Some Assembly Required:


As I have said in previous posts I have lived with gender dysphoria for most of my life. It has been a consistent part of my life since I can remember. It does not go away. So what is this invisible life companion that has been with me for so long?

Gender dysphoria is a basic and fundamental discomfort and dissatisfaction with the biological gender I was born with. It has triggered periods of anxiety, depression, restlessness and suicidal thoughts. It is these feelings that have been the catalyst to making the decision to change both my physical body and my gender expression to be more reflective of what I know my real gender identity to be.

For me gender expression was the beginning of transition, I did not know where or what it was going to lead to. In the past dressing and presenting as male had been enough…

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Transgender identity is subject of proposed SBC resolution


Condemnation of life saving medical treatment. Way to go SBC. Very Christian.

Originally posted on iB2 News:

BREAKING_NEWSNEWS | Two Southern Baptist leaders have submitted a resolution on transgender identity that could be considered June 10-11 by messengers at the SBC’s annual meeting in Baltimore.

“You know you’re a cultural tipping-point when both Newsweek and Time magazine run cover stories on your cause within the span of a single year,” wrote Denny Burk, who co-authored the resolution. “Such is the case with transgender, which both Newsweek and Time have declared to be the next phase of the gay rights revolution.”

Burk, a professor at Boyce College in Louisville, Ky., co-wrote the resolution with Andrew Walker, director of policy studies at the Southern Baptist Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission. The SBC Resolutions Committee will consider the measure prior to the annual meeting and decide whether to bring it (or an amended version) to the Convention for a vote.

On his blog, Burk outlined several reasons for the resolution:

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Respect After Death Act California AB 1577


We can’t pick where we were born and those of us unfortunate enough to have been born in states that merely draw a line through the former gender designator instead of issuing a new birth certificate will never be able to have a vital birth document that accurately reflects who we are. We may have a bit more control over where we die and I hope California does the right thing.

Originally posted on Life in the TRANS lane:

 ImageIf I were to die tomorrow how would I be recognized, would my death certificate read male or female? This is not a question that the majority of people think about because they have cisgender privilege.   However, this is a question that transgender people have to ask themselves. It would be nice if the answer to this question involved another question. How did the deceased person identify? Unfortunately, the current answer to this question isn’t concerned with identity at all; it is only concerned with genitals.

 California Assembly Bill 1577, the Respect After Death Act, authored by Assembly Majority Leader Toni Atkins and sponsored by Equality California and Transgender Law Center aims to change this. If this bill becomes law it will ensure transgender people have their authentic gender identity reflected on their death certificates.   On May 15th, AB 1577 passed the CA Assembly. The next stop…

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