First Shirtless Swim

I’m at the Four Seasons hotel in Philadelphia and decided to do something I never did before top surgery – go for a swim.  It was liberating and relaxing.  There were a few other people around but I didn’t really care.  I just wanted to get in the water and swim my way to relaxation.  Mission accomplished!

8 thoughts on “First Shirtless Swim

  1. Next time you come to A2, let’s go for a shirtless swim together at my club. One way to make sure nobody notices your scars is to swim with a topless woman. And then you can bail me out of jail afterwards… Ha! As if I’d really have the guts to do this. I couldn’t even do it at the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival!

    • Hmmm, yes, your civil disobedience activities will need to wait until your “householder” years are behind you. 🙂

      In the meantime, I’ll do my best to fight the good fight and carry on with my “personal is political” activities that continue to push the boundaries of diversity out for those around me.

  2. Huge hug for a cool post. Sounds like a great milestone. Other than relaxing, any other thoughts on how you felt? Good job 🙂

    • At first I was very self-conscious about the scars but then I realized that people aren’t really that observant. I also loved being able to swim without straps cutting into my shoulders or having to tug at elastic. I also realized just how dysphoric I had been – I’d convinced myself that swimming just wasn’t my thing but that’s not really true – I just couldn’t stand the women’s bathing suits and having to shave my legs!

      Overall the experience triggered a bit of sadness over all the years I spent being avoiding things I would have otherwise enjoyed so… I’ll just need to make up for it now! I’m sure to some people it will seem like I’m being selfish (working less, playing more, spending more time on self-improvement activities) or in full-blown mid-life crisis. But that’s ok – I’m taking my turn at finally being happy with myself and what I am doing with my life.

      • Many women don’t like wearing women’s swimsuits or shaving their legs, myself included. I understand that one of your reasons was gender dysphoria, but there are other reasons to dislike swimsuits and shaving! Gabi is going through puberty and all of the sudden doesn’t like to swim, her favorite activity as a kid. I remember my brothers wearing t-shirts because they didn’t like people seeing their chests. It’s a good sign that your comfortable enough to go without a shirt. It means you’re feeling better about your body. Good for you!

      • For me, it wasn’t just the feel of the swimsuit – it was that they were distinctly feminine in appearance as well. No getting around that. And, after puberty the tshirt just didn’t work for obvious (all too obvious) reasons. And it seems like the major problem I am having with my scars is not the fact they are scars per se but that they make me look (and from the tightness feel) like I’ve been wearing a bra too tight.

      • I’m being more “selfish” also lately. It’s fun! Ten years of single parenting followed by a glorious year of a year-long paid vacation with benefits. Lovin’ it!

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