“Disclosure is a spectrum” does sum up the reality I face as Trans that is very different from just being “out” … As I recall once I came “out” as a lesbian there was a sense of relief. A kind of finality. People just knew and it wasn’t a topic for discussion. And because people knew there was a certain insulation – people were much less likely to engage in homophobic discussions in my presence.
Now, as Trans (and perceived consistently male), it’s a constant struggle deciding when it is relevant and when it is not. And if it is relevant, dealing with diplomatically setting boundaries when uncomfortable questions come up.
There is a more constant psychological resource drain going on that isn’t as acute as dysphoria but a reality I hadn’t fully anticipated pre-transition.
Someone on the non-binary spectrum emailed me looking for resources on how to navigate their professional life, specifically in a conservative job environment where gender comes with certain expectations.
Constantly policing your presentation, as I’m sure you know, is not fun. I’m still young enough to hope there’s a way to live with my gender that’s more authentic and more sustainable, without getting me fired.
Do you just suck it up? What are the compromises one has to make? Where is the balance?
My solution to unisex gendered bathrooms at work.
There are a lot of non-binary trans folk out there, each navigating it at their own pace, in various stages of transition. You didn’t say how old you are, but I’m in my late 20’s, and I’ve talked to people in their 30’s, 40’s, 50, and 60’s – spanning pretty much every decade – from all walks of life…
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