Vanishing. Yes for me transition has felt like a series of vanishings. And is that so different from the elemental human experience of the impermanence of everything around us? Transition is like death and rebirth and each one is unique and ultimately a solitary journey.
For nearly four years now she has listened to my thoughts about becoming a woman, about my fears, my hopes, and my aspirations living as one. The exercise has given me more strength than I realized I had. I imagined scenes that have materialized almost exactly, years later, even down to the fine details. I imagined myself walking the streets of New York City in the late stages of transition, sketching out the directions my life could or would take further on. I imagined myself, a newly postoperative woman, walking through the snow in a long coat running errands. I imagined my daily breakfast routine at the coffee shop, even. It was important to visualize all of this, and even more important to tell a friend, so I could hear myself say it and believe that these dreams were actually within my reach.
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